what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
