I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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