why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
