you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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