I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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