He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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