thus making me awesome and them whores
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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