At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
