Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
