Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
