OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
