Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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