What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
