New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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