I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
