Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
