I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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