Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
