bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
