So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
