I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
