if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
