ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
