That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
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fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
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I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.