I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT