she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.