Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
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So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.