Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
