I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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