My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
