I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
