He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
