physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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