I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
