so that wasnt chicken after all
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
