I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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