I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
