hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Randomize
