I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We have so much sex to catch up on
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
