You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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