During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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