Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
