I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah