Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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