I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So much puke
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?