Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
