One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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