It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize