last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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