It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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