I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
