Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
