I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
So squirting runs in the family.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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