lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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