You work out of a Hotel?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
