No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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