she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
