Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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