so explain again why im purple
no
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
