I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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