i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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