so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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