; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
