can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
