i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
