ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
