so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
